Where does good character flow from?

February 8th 2013

More than a month as passed since I left my family and entered the unknown.
I have slept without my babies, my comforts for 6 weeks. I miss my children fiercely, but I know they are taken care of, fed, loved and safe. For this I thank my Heavenly Father and my earthly parents and in-laws.
When we counseled with our agency about the possible issues during the adoption, corruption was never mentioned. We never imagined the level of deceit that we would be faced. Living amongst the beautiful people of Liberia, I am starting to get it.
For almost 20 years these same faces had to run, hide and survive day to day with murder, war and starvation.
For more years than many of them lived in peace, they lived with the visual of children, mothers and fathers being slaughtered before their very eyes.

Some of the stories you hear make your stomach hurt. Some infuriate you, but if you listen, and try to have an understanding of what has shaped their character, their resolve and their future, you can understand how the grey area becomes so wide.
These beautiful people had to learn HOW to survive, beg, steal and borrow. They had no choice but to hide in the hills, to disguise their tiny babies in the bush, to dodge the bullets, machetes, and the rebels. The kinds of atrocities that occurred on a daily basis would change any person. NO matter how deeply convicted they started out.
I am by no means justifying their actions, and I do not plan to work with these people that do not know anything but lies and corruption, but I am beginning to understand. My heart is moved with compassion, pity for the men and women that came out after this terrible war with the views of right and wrong completely skewed.

Let us ALL evaluate what life experience we have that encourages the same.
What breeds mediocrity, laziness, and gluttony?

What is it in each of US that promotes the character traits that allow us to slide far from the man or woman we are destined to be, and become those that average efforts, and average rewards are ‘good enough’


Good enough is never enough, I beg you to consider to look into YOUR heart (as I gaze into mine) and grasp the qualities of Honest, Brave, Respectful, Hard working, Faithful, Integrity, Respect Charity, Obedience, Virtue, Courage, Honesty, Leadership, Accountability, Self control, Delayed gratification.


Where am I lacking, where can I improve. Where am I rationalizing my actions based upon my personal experience that is keeping me from attaining these qualities?


I had a powerful experience yesterday that once again reminded me that I am doing the Lord's work.
I am fighting a battle for a valiant spirit, that Heavenly Father Knows and Loves. Peter will grow up to be a great man a leader, and an honorable example.

I am blessed to be his mother.

Growing pains....

I have been gone from my wonderful family for 6 weeks now.

just the travels alone have been complicated and taxing on my nerves.
5 days in NYC awaiting a visa that was "Guaranteed" to be in my hands the first day....

getting bumped off the flight in Ghana due to mechanical issues.

Arriving in Liberia without my phone and all my contacts.

The support I have received from my Liberian family has been astounding. They have not left me alone to wallow in my frustration, they have supported, prayed, and cried with me during each set back or issue.

Upon arrival I felt like there was another special little boy destined to be a part of our family.

His name is Divine, and he has deep soulful eyes. I have been able to care for him on a few occasions, one of which was the day he got very ill. I took him to the clinic and held him as they drew blood. He has malaria, and a double ear infection, and a fungal infection. he is a very sick little boy.

So at the moment he is under my watchful eye, resting and getting lots of fluids and food.

The foster mothers have taken very good care of all the children in their care, and I don't want anyone to feel like they are not doing their jobs, but when there is one fragile little boy among 40 rambunctious neighborhood children things can get crazy!

The newest update on Peter's case is n

ot good news.
The officials that have prepared his documents up to this point felt like the discrepancy in a last name was a minor issue, and they opted to proceed with paperwork even when they knew the name was wrong on the bio mom.

Once we arrived at the embassy, and the consular was interviewing the bio mom,I realized we had a huge issue on our hands.

Not only was the last name incorrect on the documents (supposed to say BEN and it said BENJAMIN) but we were misinformed by Global Orphan Outreach that Peter's medical visa had been renewed.

In fact he had over stayed his visa by 221 days. The penalty for this violation is he is not eligible to travel for 3 years.

yes, we are in a bit of a panic.
We have attempted to fix this through documentation that we FILED the extension, but so far, we have not gotten favorable response from the embassy on if they will consider that adequate.

So for now, I have run out of my hotel/lodging budget, I have used up all of our food budget, and I have borrowed as much s we have available for our taxi budget. For now, we wait, pray and hope that this is not the final answer (the 3 year restriction)

In the mean time, yes, I will care for Divine, and pray that HIS paper work can be done properly, and that we can bring him home with us, whenever that may be!

T.I.A.

This is Africa!


The past 10 days have passed with no progress.

Our "case study' has been approved and completed for 10 days, and we have been waiting a response from the US Embassy.

We found out on Friday the reason our case study has not been handed over:
they ran out of printer ink.

Seriously. that is it. We are all paying $75 per night in hotel, and $40 per day in food plus paying a driver if we want to go anywhere $74 per day.

10 days

x 3 families That is nearly $6,000 worth of printer ink!

(the cost of our stay for that 10 days)

Astounding that we can be at a stand still for 10 days over $50 worth of ink!

Now we are still waiting for the Embassy to grant us appointments.
And we are sincerely praying the Consular will not find any 'discrepancies' in our paper work.

I need prayer warriors for the following;

that the illness that is wracking my body with fever, chills, pain, and fatigue will heal.
That the kids here with us will continue to be protected from illness.
That we can find a safe place to stay that we can afford.
That the children at home will be loved & appreciated.
That our process can be completed and we be reunited as a family in the next 10 days.

I know i am asking A LOT.

But I also KNOW the power of prayer!!

THANKS to everyone for your ongoing support.
I think I will have to return to Africa in 3 months for Divine since we have not got the funds AS WE SPEAK to move forward. I will return home, file our taxes, sell a few items and proceed with prayer.

Divine needs a family, he is Such a peanut. So sad and sweet, so wants to be loved.

He is going to LOVE our girls!
the boys are going to LOVE him!

He fits in just like Mr. Peter did March of last year ;)

Looking forward to introducing him to the family!!!

On another note : I took a serious leap of faith, went to the neighborhood clinic LET THEM DRAW BLOOD!!! for a malaria test....
(yes I verified the needles were NEW and sterile)
then I was seen for the eh-hum....problem I have been having, let's just say I can not sit, as that is the region of this issue.......

apparently it is a common African issue, and the superstition is that the next time I have 'relations' with my husband I will conceive twins! can you imagine!
I paid a total of $7.50 for the Dr. Visit AND prescriptions for the TYPHOID FEVER I tested positive to!

So, when you are planning your trip to Africa, please get the vaccine for this, apparently it is transmitted through food prep, so I will NOT be able to prepare ANY food until I have tested clear by an infectious disease specialist in America.
(read this kids?! very serious stuff....)

Jan 16th 2013

The past few days have been uneventful in regards to the adoption.

It seems CRAZY to me that I am required to stay here to process paperwork, and yet *I* am not required to do any of the actual paperwork. (Until our embassy appointment)

So yesterday the group of ladies that are also here doing adoption work, were planning on doing Bible School with the foster kids. I was not feeling well (having what they call a runny stomach) My energy level was way low, and I did not want to go far from running water & flushing toilets today.

So after 1 o'clock rolled around, the other ladies had decided it was simply getting too late to go out the the foster home. (We MUST be back in our compound before 6 as it is NOT safe on the roads after then)

So instead of doing much, we all lounged around the beach and enjoyed dinner.

what a wonderful reprieve from the anxiety and worry of all our paperwork!

So the 3 boys played in the sand and water, and all the momma's took turns resting, or chasing the boys in the sand!

Yassa (Melvin's mother) went to the ministry Tuesday and signed the TPR papers. I should be ready to apply for the passport and gain an embassy appointment by tomorrow.

Just a few more steps, and we will be done, unfortunately with ever single step we have tiny delays, for example on the Monday morning Yassa was scheduled to sign TPR, when the consulate canceled all appointments because his home had been burglarized and he had to remain at home to finish the police report.

So that is one day.... one day.... you get the idea?

Then the flights are extremely limited, so even IF I finish my papers and have Clearence to leave, we must wait for the weekend, as these are the only flights out.

Photos to come! Of course videos would be nice...

Up and down

Day of Indulgence! (Golden Beach in Africa) Slideshow: Deanna’s trip to Monrovia was created with TripAdvisor TripWow!

enjoy. We did!

Up and down

Day of Indulgence! (Golden Beach in Africa) Slideshow: Deanna’s trip to Monrovia was created with TripAdvisor TripWow!

enjoy. We did!

Jan 8th 2013

Jan 8th 2013

last night was a rough one. First it was VERY hard to settle down and get to sleep. I was missing my babies SOMETHING FIERCE, I could not stop crying, and of course could not fall asleep.

Peter fell asleep perfectly, and I chatted with Madi & Wesley for way too late into the night.

I finally fell asleep around 3:30 a.m. around 6 a.m. Peter awoke, and was wandering around.

Needless to say, the morning sun was an unwelcome sight....

When I finally emerged from my room the guest house staff said I had slept through 2 visitors.

Of course I was disappointed, and I woke Peter up to feed him breakfast.

After breakfast I tidied our room, and exited the room in order to empty the trash, there was a gentleman sitting in the veranda.

He waved to me, and said that he had been waiting to meet with me.

Of course this was the first meeting as I had no idea who I was meeting with!

Moses & Amos (?) began the process for us to begin this process.

The first thing they did was call Yassa, Peter's bio mom. I was very anxious for this meeting, and i ran back into the room for the photo book I made for her.

She entered the courtyard, she is a petite, young, and sweet woman. When she saw Peter, of course she and I both started crying.

She touched him, and tried to hug him, he was not rude, but he was very timid towards her affection, and came closer to me. I knelt down and signed to him that THIS was HIS Momma. He nodded and then waved to her.

Over the past 3 years Peter has had many Momma's and I am sure he is afraid of being left behind.

We sat down and I gave Yassa the photobook.

The agency representative began explaining to her the process, and getting her consent and opinion on her feelings towards this adoption.

She explained to me how she went to more than one 'child home' before she made her selection, and she felt like they were his best chance at survival and life.

She told me a little bit about Peter's father, and how he referred to him as 'a snake' and that it was NOT his child.

She commented about how GOOD he looked, and how happy she is that he is doing so well.
She asked me point blank if I would promise to keep in contact with her. She has been very sad that she was unable to keep in contact and she did not get the photos of Peter as she was promised.

I told her I would do everything in my power to keep her connected to her son, that I felt like She was a very important part of HIM, and I would keep her informed on him and his growing.

We all visited for over an hour, when Yassa had to return to work, and the agency workers left with a time to meet the next day to meet with the Ministry of Health.

As all of us were visiting, my Liberian friend entered the courtyard QUITA! She is an amazing woman who has offered SO many favors to help me.

She offered to take me to get a cell phone and help me situate all my immediate issues.
the biggest which is my missing luggage, Quita scooped us up, and had her private driver take us to her home outside the city where she fed us dinner, and outfitted me with the most stunning African attire. I am so humbled that she has been so willing to help, she lives in a beautiful adobe building in what is called locally the "Coca Cola factory village" this is because it is situated just outside the Coca Cola factory.

red dirt streets, chickens, dogs and babies running every which way....and the typical African lifestyle.

It was such a privilege to view all the details of her home.

I have photos I will share.

Quita then took us onto her porch, where her helpers fed us a big bowl of rice, with potato greens on top. It was bit spicy, but there was a big surprise at the bottom of the bowl!
CHICKEN FEET! I can honestly say I lost a bit of my appetite! ;)

After we ate our fill, Quita asked me to follow her to her neighbors' home, where they have a sweet little boy who used to run around being clever and quick, until about a year ago.

Our Adventure 2013 Slideshow: Liberia’s trip to Monrovia was created with TripAdvisor TripWow!

One day this young boy (6 years old) came home from school and simply collapsed, he began having nose bleeds, and was unable to stay stable on his feet.
His condition has deteriorated, and now a year later he struggles to talk, and can not walk at all.
This young man still has his wits about him, he can speak (quietly) and can respond and answer questions.
And yet, slowly, surely he is dying. His head is enlarged, and he struggles to hold it upright. But that does not dim his smile, nor impede his attempt to entertain, he sang me a song about God's love, and he beamed brightly for our pictures together.

I am not sure of his written name, something like Assura Johnson.
But this is where I ask you EACH OF YOU, to say a prayer for this little guy, and ask our God above to find a sponsor for this boy, someone willing to pay the expenses for him to get medical care in the modern world. Life here in Liberia will not be kind to him.

So please take a minute, look at his smile, and know this, there is a VERY good chance that given a brain shunt, and moderate medical intervention, he may lead a NORMAL life, he may run again, he may talk, sing and play like all the little boys at 7 years old!

All about Faith.

This is what GOOGLE pulled up on MY Dr. Faith.

Isn't she a GEM!?

"" YALE School of Medicine Staff Profile:

Faith Lamb-Parker, PhD, focuses her research on early childhood intervention, specifically Head Start; mental health needs of vulnerable children; parent education and involvement in their children's education; community/neighborhood factors that influence children's school achievement; and innovative staff-focused mental health interventions for young children and their families. She created a research-to-practice journal for the National Head Start Association, the NHSA Dialog, and has authored numerous articles and chapters on Head Start, child outcomes, parent involvement, and advocacy strategies for very young children and their families. Since 2001, Dr. Lamb-Parker has been teaching and training internationally where she has co-developed the first ever masters-level program in child development in Bangladesh, and given training and technical assistance to a number of Early Childhood Development NGOs in South Africa. Dr. Lamb-Parker presents at national and international professional meetings on her international community-based participatory research, training, and advocacy focus on the health, mental health, and development of infants and young children and their caregivers in rural black townships in South Africa. In addition to teaching courses on child development and social policy, Dr. Lamb-Parker runs tutorials, independent studies, and seminars; as well as directs the domestic practicum program for the department. She is the scientific director of Head Start's Tenth National Research Conference, funded by DHHS/ACF/OPRE, to promote evidence-based practice and policy for young children and their families.""

Accra Ghana Jan 6th 2013

I never thought I would be here. I have dreamed of stepping foot an African soil for as long as I can recall.

Getting to Africa has taken me 37 years and the desperate challenge of adopting this sweet, innocent, loving and energetic little boy.

NEVER Mistake my frustration with the PROCESS with a REGRET for beginning this journey.

It is like saying a pregnant woman with severe complications regretted her pregnancy.

I DO NOT REGRET anything I have had to endure thus far....and regardless of the situation, I would do this (AND MORE) for ANY one of my children.

Claudine, Madison, Sione, Abigel, Gracie, Rubi, Zeke, Elijah, Peter.

YOU ARE MY LIFE. MY REASON for LIVING.

Here is today's details.

We were on the plane to Monrovia on the tarmac in Ghana for over 2 hours, the pilot had been keeping us updated on all the progress, an electrical part had gone bad, and the mechanic who was working on it was unable to get it installed and running in time. Apparently the Monrovia airport CLOSES at 7 p.m.

Since our flight met 2 roadblocks (one being the time passengers are allowed to sit on the tarmac in transit, and two the closing of the Monrovian airport.)

So everyone is escorted off, and all 200+ passengers are in limbo, we stand in lines with no direction, we are told we must get a visa to step out of the airport, and we are issued forms. No one has a clue what line to stand in, and after shifting at least 3 times, we establish a system, where one of us leaves the group, seeking out a Delta agent to clarify the lines, while others stand over our mounds of personal belongings.

Eventually the group I was standing with in line for a Visa 4 were American men who work in Liberia similar to Wesley's schedule, and 2 were Dr's who work for the Ministry of Health in Liberia (and other countries all over the world)
and a couple of Peace Corp Volunteers.
We opted to pay for a transit Visa ($20) and keep our passports, rather than enter our information on a piece of paper and leave our passports. (no brainer)
this is when I realize I had dropped my cell phone on the plane as we were disembarking. yeah. smart I know.


AS we were all being loaded onto a series of buses the Delta agent notifies me, I will not be allowed to board this bus since I fly NON-REV I would NOT be taken care of during this mechanical failure. I was to be left, alone on the curb in Ghana knowing no one and having NO IDEA what to do, or where to go.

Dr.Faith Parker, opted to LEAVE her traveling party and remain with me, the last 7 passengers in ALL of our flight happened to be Platinum Delta First class flyers.

So Dr. Faith had met me less than 2 hours prior to her offering to share a bed & room for the night.
She LITERALLY saved me. I as SO SCARED. SO ANGRY and SO ALONE.

We all got checked into the hotel, then immediately went to the restaurant to eat dinner, then 6 of us enjoyed dinner and then most of us promptly went to our rooms to sleep.

And sleep we did!
at 10 a.m. Faith's husband called to check on her, and I got up. Housekeeping knocked on the door and asked if we were checking out....since one of our traveling companions had been notified by someone INSIDE Delta that they (Delta) had flown a NEW plane from JFK to Accra to transport us to Monrovia (Rather than make us wait until Friday, the next scheduled flight) I RAN to the lobby and asked him what he knew, he assumed we had all been notified, and I immediately ran BACK to our room, knocking on all the doors of our companions as I passed by. I had to wake Peter, get him dressed (into the same clothes he had been wearing since Tuesday) and RUSH to the lobby. Once we were all assembled, we had the shuttle take us to the airport.

The shuttle got us back just in time, once again Delta was loading passengers and admitting everyone through customs. I was asked by a group of Ghanaian women If I was a star"Like Angelina Jolie"

I said "YEAH RIGHT! I WISH!"
;)

We arrived onto the plane and had an uneventful flight to Monrovia (what I wouldn't do for UNEVENTFUL plans RIGHT NOW!)

Arrival to Monrovia was at 3:30 p.m.

The arrival gate in Liberia is all one room, every single flight that comes into Liberia has their bags delivered to one small baggage area, with over 250 ppl looking for their bags and at least 100 'helpers' (men that want you to hire them to gather your bags) it gets HOT & HECTIC!

I helped Faith gather her bags as she held Peters hand.

An hour later my bags had NOT arrived, and the room had pretty well emptied out.
We loaded everyone into the car and I went back into the airport to file a lost bag claim.

once again, for anyone who flies on 'buddy pass' or NON-REV, I am out of luck, since I am not a paying customer, I have a 1% chance they will even LOOK for my lost bags.

If I add up all the fees, hotel rooms, and lost luggage I might be getting closer to the $2300.00 it WOULD have cost me to fly on a regular ticket.

Sigh. the cost savings are HUGE, and for a family with 7 kids...it is essential.

ANYWHO.....it took a 45 minute car ride (to which Dr Faith ONCE AGAIN offered to have her hired driver take me to the market for water and DIAPERS since my luggage was LOST and I only had ONE last diaper!)

We dropped into a super market, and I found the SWEETEST SIGHT TO MY EYES! 2 young men wearing BLACK name-tags! I literally squealed and hugged their hands ;
)
So I arrived here at Moko's (where they TOO were worried about my arrival, since they had NOT heard from me since Saturday!)

We have showered, and eaten a very strange Pizza (corn and shredded chicken) and are ready for bed now.....

Continued prayers appreciated.

Can I be Frank?

Who's kidding...when am I anything BUT frank. (without a Capital "F")

As I struggle with every step of this journey, and I kick, fight and scream over this sweet boy (who will NEVER grasp the situation)



I wonder, as I often do when hard obstacles are placed in my way.

I can do two things.....Fight THROUGH them....or....Give up.

So what is the option?

In the past what have I been compelled to do?

yeah. honestly I give up. When things get too hard, I say "oh well, it is not meant to be." and then I quit.



Yes. Me.

I QUIT.



But looking at this rascal. This puny bundle of endless energy, this guy who looks up at me with those dark eyes, those languid eyelashes, those sweet loving eyes.

and I think to myself....



I always wished there was someone who would FIGHT MY BATTLES for me.

Now I get to fight FOR HIM. Maybe in the next life he will see/understand what that means. but for now. I know I can be HIS hero! Cuz, this. IS. HARD.