Monday, April 2, 2012

For Missy (story of Peter)

Missy and I have been friends since we were 12. She may not know this, but she is one of the people who helped me transition from my reclusive depressed childhood into an outgoing and energetic youth. Thank you Missy, you were a 'popular-popular' Girl, who had all the right clothes and all the right friends, and you NEVER made anyone feel small, or insignificant.

Your friendship and all the times I got to come watch MTV at your house are some of my funnest memories from my teenage years.

Love you miss,

This story has been written in part or portion in several places, many are just letters I wrote to family.

I compile it all in one pace just for you! ;)


I had always dreamed of adopting, I wanted a trans-racial family, one child born on each continent.

My husband was not as adventurous, he was...putting it mildly, a home-body someone who would have been content living in the same town he grew up in, and never leaving.

While pregnant with our 2nd child I had a sacred experience, of which I will not share online, this solidified that one day we would have children of different ethnicity join our family Forever. I also knew that we would have a son & his name would be Peter.

In February of 2012 I got a text from my best friend, Sasha Grove. Her sister in law, Kelly Grove is actively involved in special needs adoptions, and she has a desire to find homes for all the children in need. Her webpage : http://www.specialangelsadoption.org/

Sasha knows of my hearts desire to adopt, and shared with me a photo of a special little boy from Kelly's Adoption Outreach advertising.

Enter "Peter" from the moment I saw his picture I knew. Beyond any doubt, I knew that he was mine. I read the caption that he was from Liberia, but missed the part that said he was deaf.

It wasn't until a day or two later that I realized he was deaf. It didn't change my feeling. I had concern about my ability to parent a deaf child, but I KNEW he was mine. I knew that whatever his needs were, I would find a way to adjust and handle them .

If your natural born child was born with severe special needs, would you shirk from the task?
Some would, but I knew I would not.

This was simply a fact that needed to be handled and I was not going to pass the buck onto someone else to carry this child.

February 18th 2012

I was able to arrange a meeting with Peter and his Host mother, Denise.
I drove to Red Wing MN and spent the weekend getting to know him, and learning of his past & his needs.

On the drive home I was torn, I wondered if I REALLY had what it takes to parent a special needs child, I worried that my many life-dreams would be de-railed if I accepted the task, and I worried what the strain would do to my family & kids.

I worried not in the sense that i would not or did not want to continue in the process/steps, but I worried just as if I had received the diagnosis of a special needs pregnancy.

I went to work right away to get the back ground information in order to host Peter in our home.
It was very consuming and confusing, the local authorities had no idea how to help me, and sent me to the wrong place at least 3 times.

In all our finger-pints have been taken 5 times from 3 different agencies.

March 21st 2012

We finally had all the background checks accomplished and were prepared to bring Peter into our home, it was a hectic day trying to get a flight, and in the end we drove into Iowa and met Denise & Joe. Peter transitioned perfectly and didn't miss a beat, he is enthralled with new experiences and new people.

We cleared our calender and spent 4 days in hibernation, no one in, no one out. the kids and I snuggled and loved on Peter for 5-6 hours at a time, he was very difficult at first, he bit, kicked, hit and spit. (I would too!) We had no way to prepare him for this move, as he is not advanced in his communications.

We prayed hard, and were blessed with added patience, the kids were blessed with added compassion, and were so kind and loving towards Peter.

Peter has been in our home now for nearly 3 weeks. It is if he has always been here. He is part of our family, he has allot of medical and emotional needs, we pray that all the resources will be made available and we will have the stamina to do what is necessary.



Where do we go from here?

We finish the "home study"
We obtain US permission to adopt Peter
We return WITH Peter to petition the Liberian Courts for an adoption.
We PRAY the following are made available;
the Funds for travel, adoption fees, legal fees, USA court fees.
We Need PRAYERS that the US government as well as LIBERIAN government gives us the needed paperwork to make him a part of our family permanently.

It is a laborious and exhausting process, the check lists and the fundraising, the medical appointments, the sign language, then add on top of that all the other obligations as a family we have.

But in the end, I look into his dark little eyes, and I wonder,

If not me.... then Who?

If not this...then What?

If not now....then When?

























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